There is one significant human trait that I think many other good traits trace back to. Authenticity, kindness, bravery, passion, joy, creativity, and discernment bloom from its stem, perfuming the world with effortless rapture. With it, you have your own personal set of keys to enter into satisfaction whenever you please, and exit as you see fit. The pendulum of mood and motivation awaits your command like an obedient dog, wagging its tail knowing you are master.
This trait is freedom. I don’t mean being free of commitment or relationships or trials or even any tangible thing, as a matter of fact, the more present the physical shackles, the more visible this trait becomes. What I mean is mental and emotional freedom from the petty worries of this world due to a reliance upon a greater purpose outside of oneself. This purpose does not have to be grand, it can be as simple as kindness to cast sunshine on humanity’s shadows, but it must be possible wherever you are and whatever conditions you are under. The thing you may pursue in perfect physical freedom, such as romance, writing a book, or starting a company, are all noble passions, but they are worldly, they do not transcend. Keep these passions, but find a deeper one, outside of yourself, and I guarantee that your earthly passions will prosper, too.
For example, a young girl is selling flowers at the roadside. She would like to earn money to save for new shoes, but the real reason she sits and sells is to bring passerby’s smiles, whether they buy a flower or not. Even if she makes no money at all, she will return home fulfilled, knowing that in some way she impacted the daily routine of her community. This freedom from worry about the money she makes or the way she is viewed enables her to enjoy her task much more thoroughly without frustration if she fails. She has more energy to offer her customers because she has spent less on shallow anxiety, and her kindness is truly authentic, the money a pleasant surprise rather than an expectation, for her first wish is to give life to others. She may be bound to her city, her jobs, and her family, but she is free from the need to be fulfilled by any of these things; she enters them fulfilled already.
You may be envisioning a matronly, joyless, servant or perhaps a nun who has dedicated her life to solidarity, but I would argue that these individuals are the most animated people of all. Think of the person who has loved you most deeply and touched your soul: they loved simply to love, not to gain satisfaction from being needed or to be seen as altruistic. The best musicians you’ve seen played likely had eyes closed, their thoughts turned away from earthly attention and toward the deep resonating gratification of creating beautiful sounds.
I think it is possible to enjoy life’s gifts without depending upon them. A stunning woman can acknowledge that she is beautiful and experience great joy by dressing herself well and being praised by others, but if she is free from her beauty, then she will age with contentment and dignity, having lost nothing due to her satisfaction in deeper things. Beauty was simply a pleasant frill, like an unopened Christmas gift, meant to be enjoyed with gratefulness, then passed on to another.
If you want to step out over a raging river on nothing but a meager log without fear of falling, find your freedom. If you want to feel lovely and interesting no matter what the world says about you, find your freedom. If you want to love fully and heartily without the need to be appreciated or loved back, find your freedom. If you want to awake in the morning giddy to have another day at your fingertips, find your freedom. If you want to succeed and truly enjoy your successes throughout twisted darkness, confusion, anger, and doubt, find your freedom. But this freedom cannot be one that simply sounds nice or one which you think you should believe in, it must strike a chord within you that will ring for the rest of your life.
Search yourself and find truth: there it will be.